Reports were made earlier today that a 23-year-old Oklahoma man was arrested for using a plastic bag at a grocery store. Sources say he will be put on trial in a court of law in the coming months, looking at a possible conviction and leading to a probable sentence of life in prison or death by lethal injection.
A spokesperson for the Oklahoma state governor's office said that this is just the first of many arrests that will be made in an effort to crack down on irresponsible plastic bag usage. At this time it is not unlawful for a grocery store to offer plastic bags, as that would infringe on the individual human rights of corporations, however it is most certainly illegal to accept plastic bags and anyone caught doing so will face serious charges.
When asked about the fairness of these laws, the spokesperson said that it would be better for offenders to be executed than for them to continue living and using plastic bags. "Bodies decompose far quicker than plastic bags do. It's just the right environmental choice to make," the spokesperson said. They made no comment when questioned about grocery stores still being allowed to offer plastic bags to their customers.
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